First off:
Don't make a story just to make fun of someone or a group of people.

Second:
Try to make sense.

Third:
Let the later posts be changed.

Fourth and Finally:
Please follow the format.

The format is as follows:

Main speech. This is if your character is talking. Quotations are not necessary, i dont use them, but you can if you feel the need to.

Thoughts. If you are thinking something, and you don't necessarily have to, but if you are, put it in italics.

(This would be the non-RP speech. Pretty obvious.)

=Actions. Any actions you do are put between '=' signs= Example, =Xazhi attacks your face to death=
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I Personally use a very secific order to this. For example:

Xazhi- I say something. I place my name before it to specify the speaker.
=I do an action, but i am the only one who is doing the action, i place it directly under my words=
Same for thoughts

Name- Someone else starts talking, a random person, etc. I Leave a space between the last thing i said/did and what they are saying.

=Two or more people perform an action and there is nothing between it, such as dialogue or thoughts, i leave a space=
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